There are really many saying that state that we aren’t capable of changing people.. An old dog cannot learn new tricks, says one; a zebra cannot change its stripes, says another. But one saying does go, “There is nothing more permanent than change.” How could you overcome the fact that you can still change no matter how old you are?
Does this mean that you can find ways for people to mend their ways? Luckily, there is hope for you to be able to change people and motivate them to do better. Here are a few tips that you can take into account when you would like to handle the breathtaking task of motivating someone to change. -
An adage goes, “Acceptance comes before change,” and this is something that is true no matter what the occasion or thing that you want changed. You cannot just go smashing and hurtling and driving headlong into a person’s life, and act as the revolutionary whirlwind which will enact change. Change must go slowly, and if it is going too fast, you can expect reversion to occur quickly as well. When starting out a friendship, accept a person’s faults first. Make sure that you set the stage for that person to change because he or she wants to, not because you demanded it and that person simply feels it to be an obligation.
- Try some dolphin training. What do trainers perform to motivate animals to do tricks? They reward animals for a job well done and ignore animals if they do some thing wrong. This actually works with people as well. You know the excitement when you get that raise after many years of working very hard, that medal after all your effort in school, that child after all your hours in painful labor. But you also know how painful it is to be neglected and shown indifference.
If you are pleased with somebody’s actions, reward that person with a smile, a compliment, even a treat at a nearby ice cream parlor, if you’re so inclined. But when that same person acts badly and you want that person to change, stay away from a confrontation: ignore the person instead, and let that person vent until the dust settles and he or she feels that you’re ignoring him or her. Repeat until you have the results that you want.
- Be patient. Motivating someone to change doesn’t happen overnight. If you prefer a person to change quickly, you’re treading into unsure waters. And if that person really does change quickly, you are bound to be heartbroken on two fronts: first, that person might easily be changed and swayed to do anything, and you’re stuck with a pushover; and 2nd, that person can quickly revert to old times and hurt you again. You have to muster up a lot of courage and persistence to have to deal with such people.
- Be gentle. You might be tempted to get mad at a friend for hurting you over and over, and you may be tempted to raise your voice and throw a tantrum. You will simply add fire to a flame, and you will risk getting yourself hurt with out any significant changes taking place. Try speaking calmly to your friend, and then leave it at that.
- Don’t be worried to walk away. Sometimes, leaving a person to find himself or herself can be quite a powerful way to motivate a person actually to change for the better.
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